You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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