He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
