I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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