the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
