Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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