Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
