we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
