omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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