Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
pray to the hookup gods
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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