i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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