next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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