What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
