I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
