I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
