you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize