You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
