my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize