Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
