So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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