Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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