She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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