she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
