I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I had to cum in my sink.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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