I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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