Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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