I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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