Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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