Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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