just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
