Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My first STD was from a foam party
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
