So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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