he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize