why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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