Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
