So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
