I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
did you just send me my own nude
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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