Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
