I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
