When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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