do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
