i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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