She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize