Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize