I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you traded sex for a burrito?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They have beer where we have blood.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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