Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
