Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
