Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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