i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
