I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
