I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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