Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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