gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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