somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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