I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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