I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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