Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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