Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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