when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They took my balls.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All the doctor said was why
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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